20 of 20 in 2020; say what??

Yay, you’re here! (I AM happy you’re here, but I grabbed this phrase from the new welcome mat we just bought. It’s perfection).

What am I working on?

I’m not good at resolutions. I’m just not. I say I’m going to make them, and as soon as I do, my mind and body revolt, and I literally do the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what I wanted to achieve. Eat less junk? Snack on Hershey’s kisses all day, two days later. Work out? Go to the gym three times before “it’s too crowded”, and I’m feeling sorry for myself so I stop going.

I’m just terrible at them.

But this year feels a bit different, so I’m going for it. My original goal was to read 20 books this year. A super simple goal since part of those 20 books include the four or five books that I’ve started and not finished. I said, “oh, how fun. I’ll read 20 books in 2020.”

And with that, the gears started turning. 20 in 2020? I thought, if I can read 20 books over the course of a year, why can’t I do a few OTHER things 20 times over the year? 19 other things, in fact.

And that’s how “20 of 20 in 2020” was born.

I am having a great time with this because, for me, it’s not ONE resolution that I have to stick with ALL year.

It’s a series of smaller goals that I can focus on each day and work towards. The end goal is personal development on some level, of course. I’m always aiming to be a better human. This type of challenge feels more fun and interesting, so I won’t get bored with it and find excuses to not work on it. Not feeling the $1 spend day? No worries- spend as much as you want, but maybe pay for a strangers coffee today. Boom! Done.

I’ll be keeping track as much as I can on IG stories (some things I may choose not to share photos of, but will definitely NOTE that I did them!), so stay tuned throughout the year for that. I’ve already gotten through 10 already so I’m off to a great start!

What are your goals/resolutions this year?

What am I thinking about?

The latest Creative Pep Talk Podcast! Good LORD it’s a good one! Called, “20 Surprising and Super Powerful Prompts That Will Make 2020 The Year You Do Your Best Work Ever!”, it TOTALLY delivered! I am so inspired by Andy’s work and podcast every freakin’ week, but THIS one?? This one got me! I can’t wait to listen to it again.

The section that really stuck out to me was talking about this idea of bringing attention to the things that no one pays attention to. The idea that by making work that focuses on something you want people to pay attention to, they’ll be forced to pay attention to it.

What are your pain points? What are the things that bug you every day but you can’t get away from? Make work about that.

What are the tiny things in your life that bring you so much joy, but no one else seems to notice? Make work about that!

This sparked an idea for me that I’ll be thinking about and working on in the next couple weeks/months, and I can’t wait to see what happens with it.

Andy J. Pizza, the MASTER of the Creative Pep Talk!

What am I reading/listening to?

Part of my “read 20 books in 2020” was finishing books that I started but didn’t finish. I’ve already finished “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. A great personal development book that is SO easy to read- I definitely recommend it.

Now I’m finishing a book that I first heard about on the Young House Love Podcast. It’s called “Joyful” by Ingrid Fetell Lee. Based on the notion of finding joy in the environment around us, Ingrid goes to various places in the world where color and shape have changed the way people view their cities, homes, and even prisons. I am a big fan of color theory and what color can do to people’s emotions, so this is such a great read for me! I’m about halfway through and am really learning a lot about how color and shape can affect us.

It also happened to be a signed copy, so I know this book touched her hands! and I don’t know if you can tell because of the angle, but the cover (not the dust jacket) is straight confetti. It’s just amazing and I love it.

Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoy your weekend, and I’ll see you next week <3 <3 <3

A New Beginning

I love the idea of consistency. The same thing, in the same format, on the same day, every week.

I’ve also been working on trying to figure out what this blog is meant for. While I do think it’s for me to get my thoughts out, I hope that it’ll be beneficial to you. Hearing what I’m all about will maybe help ME figure out what I’M all about!

I’ll be doing this weekly, using the same format:

• What am I working on?

• What am I thinking about?

• What am I reading/listening to?

For now, I’m loving this format. Maybe it’ll change in the future, maybe this’ll be how it is forever (probably not).

So…

What am I working on?

When I first started listening to podcasts, I heard one from London Kaye on the Etsy Conversations Podcast. She is a yarn artist, and the thing that stuck out to me is that when she was just getting started, she knitted hundreds of hearts. Hundreds. Maybe thousands? She gave them out to strangers, and left them out for people to take. It was an amazing business move, but more than that, it was a great way to bring the tiniest bit of joy to another human.

Each heart has a tag on it that says, “This heart was crocheted for you. Take one and pass it on. @madebylondon

I felt that in 2019- felt that a lot of people I know have had a tough year, and thought it would be so nice to share something small with them in a similar way. A way to show them they are not alone and that they are loved.

I’m working on a similar project with the same kindness in mind. I’ll share more when I have a more concrete plan.

What am I thinking about?

I’m thinking about the difference between an artist, a maker, and a crafter. Three different names for, what could be, the same person?

Here are the official definitions:

artist: a person who produces paintings or drawings as a profession or hobby.
maker: a person or thing that makes or produces something.
crafter: a person who makes things by hand.

Why can’t one person be all three things? Don’t they all do the same thing? Don’t they all SELF EXPRESS in some way?

I don’t know if I’d call myself an artist. I don’t feel like one – but maybe that’s because my art college background told me I needed to be sophisticated and fancy and use big words and think conceptually to be an “artist”. I don’t talk philosophically about my work (maybe I should), but I know WHY I  make it, and I can tell you in simple terms:

I make art to make myself and other people feel happiness. Colors mean a lot to me, and they are a consistent, proven way to make people FEEL. I strive to show others that ANYONE can make art, even if they don’t have a background or any experience in it. I hope one day to teach others how to find the creativity that I KNOW is in everyone. 

In art college, I remember standing in front of my art peers, showing my thesis work. It was three paper pieces that I made as a symbol for missing my sister who was deployed in Iraq. I (foolishly) framed them because “all artwork should be framed”, but it only flattened the work that I worked hard to give dimension to. I was scared and nervous, and I couldn’t think of anything to say except, “ I miss my sister” .  I did have one kind friend who reminded me to talk about HOW I made the pieces (thank you Janette), and I had a bit more to say, but not much. 

Everyone in the class was openly appreciative of this, thanking me because they were bored sitting there listening to everyone talk about their work and were happy to be through it quicker, but I was embarrassed that I didn’t  “speak art” and felt like the biggest faker (what I now know to be imposter syndrome) ever. 

That was 2005. And it took me thirteen years to seriously pick up a brush (this time a “brush pen” for lettering) again.

I am ashamed and embarrassed that it took so long to get back to it, and that I didn’t stay with it to begin with. Something that made me SO happy. Something that I never considered NOT doing, especially as a career. And I just stopped. Just like that. 

Now, in 2019, a year after I “got back into it”, I’ve tried hand lettering, blind drawing, painting, mark making, ornament making, chalkboard wedding sign making, and keychain making.

The “crafter” in me says that as long as in do something other than painting or drawing, then I’m not a “real” artist, so I must be a crafter. I’m definitely not as prolific and cultured as an artist, so being called a crafter seems to fit me better. It feels more comfortable, but also makes me feel like I may not be taken as seriously. Can a crafter make paintings, or are they stuck making macaroni art and scrapbooking?

I do like the word “maker.” It seems like an all-encompassing word that covers everything. Someone who makes or produces something- that sounds like me. I make paintings, keychains, ornaments, drawings, sometimes I sew, I definitely use a lot of hot glue and paper towels.

I wonder if the word that you use for yourself if more of a feeling. I am a trained artist, with a love of all things arts and crafts, who just wants to make stuff. I’m someone who makes a lot of things, who tries different media with no intention of sticking with one until I find something that speaks to me and that I love. I do feel a bit like a crafter, but not in a “ get a table at the local fair” kind of way (not that there is anything wrong with that if that’s your jam! I’d probably go crazy sitting behind a table for that many hours!). More like a “how can I use all the skills that I have to make this one piece truly unique?”

So artist- crafter- maker: could I be all of them? I think I can, so maybe I’ll have to come up with my own name for what I do. Let me think on that and I’ll get back to you.

What am I listening to?

So.Many.Podcasts.

I’ve been obsessed! Lots of art podcasts with some DIY/comedy/kid-friendly ones mixed in. I’ve not been listening to music lately so I’ve been able to keep up with so many of these. It’s really helped keep my mind in the art world since I don’t really have too much of that around me. I typically use Stitcher, but use Apple Podcasts when a podcast I really want to listen to isn’t on Stitcher yet.

Here are my Stitcher Podcasts:

And here is my playlist for Apple Podcasts. Most of these I just found and haven’t listened to, but the reviews have been really good so I’m excited to give them a try!.

2019 was a really creative year for me, and it’s just the beginning. I can’t wait to see what 2020 brings!

See you next week <3

Backstory Before the Beginning (of a new year)

We are now officially into our second week of the new year, and I’m ready to reveal my 2019 plan!

So, a little backstory first- as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have a lot of art supplies. Lots of paint and pencils from my MGSA days, lots of craft supplies from my love of Michael’s, AC Moore and all things crafty (especially when they’re on clearance), and lots of paper from my love of… paper. That all adds up to a LOT of supplies- I even have supplies for papermaking, bookmaking, and weaving.

A lot of this stems from always wanting to try something new- buying ALL the things, excitedly opening it all up at home, and then NEVER doing anything with it. Talk about a waste of money and energy… and queue the downward spiral of feeling sorry for myself for not making art, again.

Fast forward to last July- when I really started to get back into art, specifically lettering, I made the conscious decision to start small. I bought this simple Tombow lettering set from Michael’s (with a coupon because I’m frugal, yo), and was SUPER pumped.

This was exactly what I was looking for- some markers, along with a blending tool, pencil, eraser, and instructions. I also bought this book and printed these practice sheets from Etsy. I kept it simple but was committed to at least trying to do this.

My first attempts were not great, as you can see below, but I kept at it. I practiced the strokes over and over (lots of tracing paper was used) and slowly saw a difference.

From there, you know the rest- I started the challenge through A Pencilbox, and here we are!

I posted this comparison on Instagram and am so impressed with what a difference a few months of hard work can make. In six months, I have more control over my muscles, have tried a lot of different pens and markers to see what I like and don’t like, and have amassed quite a group of work!

Now I’m looking to the future. I’m determined to keep this momentum going for 2019. I still have about 35 days or so left of the 100 day challenge with A Pencil Box, so I’m fully focusing on completing that task. However, it’s not stopping me from my 2019 challenge- it’s simply the first “season” of it.

So what is this challenge exactly?

I’m calling it the #PoorArtistProject, and it might be exactly what you think.

My challenge for 2019 is to continue to work on my art as often as every day, using ONLY the supplies that I have in my home already. Time to clear out the craft room by using is ALL in 2019! There are some caveats and rules I’ve given myself, though- see below:

I originally had the idea to do one project per month, maybe making enough of something to sell to customers to make some money for my upcoming Disney trip with the kiddo. I decided against it, though, because if I want to learn new skills, I need to spend a season on it so I can really explore it. This is, after all, what I’m hoping will be a life changing experience, and I want to do it the right way.

I’ll be continuing my lettering practice for these first couple months as it coincides with the end of the Pencil Box’s #my100dayjournal challenge (and I know working on two separate things at once could be too overwhelming for me). I jotted down some ideas for what I’d like to explore next, but I’m trying to keep my options open and not make this such a rigid project that I get hung up on something and end up quitting altogether.

Will I make the whole year? I sure as hell hope so! Will I try my hardest to make it happen? Sure will!

But if something happens and I can’t finish, or I don’t end the year in a place that I’m happy with? I’ll give myself the grace to know that I tried my hardest, and I can always pick up and keep going. No day has to be the “last” day of our work, right?

Damn right.

Podcasts, Posts, and Permission

So if you’ve been following me on Instagram (@acalculatedmess), you’ve seen that for the past month of so, I’ve been pretty active- posting every day, actually. The reason I started A Calculated Mess in the first place was that I was looking for something ELSE. Something that was other than employee/mother/girlfriend/etc. Something that was just for me, something that I loved.

Art has been a part of my passion for so long, but since I graduated art school in 2005, I have barely touched a brush or a pen or a pencil. So many things got in the way, and I felt that I had no choice but to let it go.

Sound familiar to anyone else?

When I started back to work after my maternity leave ended in January 2018, I began listening to podcasts- craft podcasts, to be specific. The first podcast I ever listened to was Elise Cripe’s podcast, Elise Gets Crafty. It was life-changing. Seriously, if this is you thing, give hers a listen; you won’t regret it.

Click the image to be taken to her page- you’ll find her podcast there, along with everything else AMAZING that she does!

She talks about small crafting businesses, and I was absolutely sucked in. I have binge listened to the entire podcast twice already, and I’m sure I’ll do it again. It was so informative and easy to listen to. I loved hearing the stories of these people’s small businesses, and I began to follow my favorites on Instagram.

But most importantly, it changed my view on how I was thinking about MYSELF, and what I was making time for. I decided about halfway through the podcast binge that it was time- time to get back to it.

Somehow I settled on hand lettering as my first leap back into art. I’m not really sure how, but it was probably related to one or more “rabbit holes” of the Explore functions on Instagram. I’ve always admired people that had nicer handwriting, and thought it was as good a thing as any to start.

It took a bit to decide on the name of my brand. I didn’t want something that was restrictive because I knew I’d want to explore multiple art disciplines, and I also wanted something that I could associate with being a mother since part of the difficulty in what I’m doing is balancing art with all the duties that come with being the mom of two kiddos.

One day it just came to me- A Calculated Mess. It was perfect. Calculated fits my enjoyment of things to be neat and orderly (just not my house- I do have kids, remember), as well as my love of ombre, rainbows, straight lines, and gifts that fit perfectly inside a gift box.

And Mess? Well, that part gives me permission. Permission to make messes. Permission to accept that messes happen. Permission to roll with the messes (a la Bob Ross, #happy accidents).

Logo Design ideas…

Another happy accident came with another IG page I was following, @the.pencilbox. Right around the beginning of November, they started a #my100dayjournal project. The idea was that you would keep a journal for 100 days- that’s it. No other rules, you didn’t have to post every day, you just had to use the hashtag and tag @the.pencilbox.

This was it- this was a way to get started AND be held accountable. I had been practicing hand lettering since July. I bought a book, I printed some practice sheets, even took a small four day course at my local community college. I felt like I had something started, and I wanted to keep that momentum going.

Some of my favorite posts so far…

Today is day 56/100, and I’m thrilled to say that I have written (either a journal page, or lettering) every day since the start of that project. I’m so happy with my progress that I’m working on a way to push myself even farther, PAST the hundred days. I’m working on something for the new year, and am planning a blog post for the 1st to explain all the details! I can’t WAIT to get started.

If you want to follow along, feel free to follow me on Instagram at @acalculatedmess. It’s been such a great experience so far, and I’m excited to where it will take me in 2019.

The Beginning...

Let's get right down to it. I love art. Like, I LOVE IT. I always have. In fact, I can't remember a time in my life when I wanted to be anything other than an artist or creator. As a kid I always imagined that I'd grow up to be an art teacher, admiring all those that taught me along the way- including my mom and grandmother. 

My mom isn't an "artist" but she is SO creative, and I always looked up to her, especially as a kid- how did she color inside the lines so well?? I was so envious! She encouraged me all the way, and I know how lucky I am to have had a mother who didn't try to change my mind when I wanted to go to college for art. I'm sure she was worried that I wouldn't be able to find a job with that career (she was right), but knew I wouldn't be happy studying anything else (also right).

My first memories of art with my Grandmother were from her Cherry Hill home. This house was huge! It had to be to hold my Grandmother, Grandfather and their TEN KIDS! It had one of those first floor layouts where you could run in a circle through the living room, then the dining room, then the kitchen, around the hallway, and back into the living room. My sister and I were known to run in opposite directions from the living room, meet up in the kitchen, burst into a fit of giggles, and circle back to the living room, just to do it again. 

Grandmom and Pop-Pop's home- so many memories here!

This is also where all the family Christmas parties used to be held. With ten kids, their spouses, and their kids, it was definitely a party! It was at these parties (as well as visits during the year), that we’d make our way downstairs to the basement to see what kind of masterpieces we could create on the clay bust that Grandmom had down there- it never seemed to dry out. We’d smush the nose, smooth out the sides, scratch and carve at it, until we were bored or hungry (I’m assuming anyway).

I don't really know how it happened, but I ended up acquiring some of my Grandmother's art supplies when I went to college (according to my mom, I got them when I was still in high school!). I used some of them throughout my four years, and then they made their way into storage until just recently when I started unpacking boxes to fill my craft room in my house (a DREAM I've always had!). I don't think I realized how special they were until now. 

These art supplies have been touched by two generations of Facchines...

I thought about the history of these supplies, and how the companies have changed since then. I found some interesting things. Poster Chalk, for example, was bought at a store called Two Guys that's been defunct since 1982. That's the year I was born! And the Alphacolor Char-Kole that was purchased for $2.99 at the time is now almost $12 on Amazon. 

So. Much. Chalk.

She even signed one of the boxes! She must have gone by Cathy during this time, but most call her Kate now. 

You'd never get this for $4.99 today!

So I was lucky enough to have received not only these amazing supplies from my Grandmother, but I also raided the art closet of my high school and took all the oil paints my hands could carry! (Thinking back on how much paint I used, I think I should have made two trips! #allthatfreepaintandIleftitbehind). This, though, is a post for another day.

Thank you so much for sticking around to hear my beginnings- I can’t wait to go on this journey!